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ACCEPTANCE: 9 Attitudinal Foundations of Mindfulness

Jon Kabbat-Zinn’s definition:

  • Seeing things as they actually are in the present. If you have pain, accept that you have some pain right now and respond mindfully from there.
  • Denying what is and forcing what we want, wastes energy creates tension and prevents positive change from occurring.
  • Now is the only time we have for anything. You have to accept yourself as you are before you can really change.
  • Acceptance is not passive; it does not mean you have to like everything and abandon your principles and values. It does not mean you have to be resigned to tolerating things. It does not mean that you should stop trying to break free of your own self-destructive habits or give up your desire to change and grow.
  • Acceptance is a willingness to see things as they are. You are much more likely to know what to do and have an inner conviction to act when you have a clear picture of what is actually happening.

I can remember times when I was slightly injured or had a pain in some part of my body.  Because I used to be so attached to exercising and working out, I would be in denial and continue to work out and exercise much to the detriment of my health and wellbeing – as my pain or injury inevitably got much worse.

  

Here is a funny/silly story: my husband and I have a made up rule in the summer, which is that from June-September we are allowed one soft serve ice cream at Dairy Queen per month.  So a couple of weeks ago we were anticipating our first ice cream cone of the season by going to our local Dairy Queen. We arrived and much to our disappointment – the business had closed – for good!!! Now what? Well, we were so attached to getting this ice cream cone that we went to a soft-serve yogurt shop by our Trader Joes. Guess what? They had a sign on the window saying “Closed for Father’s Day”. Oh, but we were not to be deterred. I got on the internet and did a Google Search for Dairy Queens in our area. There was one listed in a part of town that was a bit of a drive – between 20 and 30 minutes. So off we went – and as we got close to where it was – we missed the street to turn on to.  We drove around and around and drove back to where we came from and finally realized that it was in one of those huge shopping malls. So we drive into the parking lot and realize we would have to park and walk all over this mall to find the darn place!!! Now at this point, we have been driving around for over an hour looking for this Dairy Queen. I was getting irritated and annoyed and was snapping at my husband to just let it go and let’s go home. But he was determined and found a Baskin Robbins place not too far from the shopping mall. So we finally had our ice cream cone – albeit not a soft serve. And was it enjoyable? Actually, no it wasn’t!!!! By that time I was so burned out by driving around in the car looking for a frickin’ ice cream cone that it took the delight out of our usual fun monthly ice cream rendezvous.Sometimes I have been disappointed or frustrated by how things are going in my business. But instead of acknowledging and accepting that things are not turning out how I would like; I have had a tendency in the past to override that. Instead I, will plow ahead and keep trying to make “something” work. Like spinning in place going nowhere. However, it’s not until I stop, tune in and sit with feeling the disappointment – and become aware of whatever else that triggers in me, that I am then able to let it go and calmly take action from wise discernment.

How about you? What is easy for you to accept? Where do you fight with life?