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NON-STRIVING: 9 Attitudinal Foundations of Mindfulness

Jon Kabbat-Zinn’s definition of Non-Striving:

  • Meditation has no goal other than for you to be yourself. The irony is you already are. I would add: Being alive has no other goal than for you to be yourself!
  • Paying attention to simply whatever is happening in the moment rather than ‘trying to get anywhere’ or ‘accomplish anything’ but the investigation itself.
  • If you are thinking ‘I am going to get relaxed this time’, this introduces an idea into your mind of where you should be and along with that comes the notion that you are not okay as you are right now.

 In our lives we can practice non-striving, or non-doing, just allowing things to be as they are without trying to change anything. The way I relate to this is that of course we are still going to have goals and things we want to accomplish. But how are we going about it? And if things are not turning out the way we think they should, how do we respond? Are we pushing the river when it is clear that something is off or just not working? Are we able to let go and just let things happen rather than pushing to make things happen?

It reminds me of “Wu-Wei” the Taoist definition non –doing:  Wu Wei is an important concept of Taoism and means natural action, or in other words, action that does not involve struggle or excessive effort. Wu Wei is the cultivation of a mental state in which our actions are quite effortlessly in alignment with the flow of life.

In practicing meditation and in life, non-striving means to be nothing more than who you are moment to moment. If you are feeling sad – feel sad without striving to be happy. If you are angry and frustrated – be angry and frustrated without striving to change it. If you are restless and agitated while meditating then that is what is happening – no need to try and make yourself be relaxed and at ease. So I see this as being with what is moment to moment. Sounds easy but in practice it can be challenging as we are always “striving” to have things be different than they are!

I know I have had many moments of going against the flow of life while striving for a goal or something I wanted to have happen. And with it came suffering and frustration.

Non – Striving is when I sit down to write a blog, newsletter or a talk and the words are flowing effortlessly. However there have been times I sit down to write and it is an effort. I can’t concentrate or focus and keep looking at Facebook as a diversion and still keep coming back to write, get frustrated and go back and look at Facebook again………..in those moments it would be so much more productive to just go and take a walk at the beach or play with my cat because it just is not happening!

Or I have pushed myself to clean the house or cook food when I am tired and I leave something out of the dish I am preparing or overcook it and burn the pan or crash into the furniture with the vacuum and dent the table. Striving to reach a goal when it is just not in the flow is striving and swimming upstream.

How about you? When are you in the flow of life and when are you striving to make something happen? What are the occasions when you strive to have a different experience than the one you are having?

TRUST: 9 Attitudinal Foundations of Mindfulness

  •  Developing a basic trust in yourself, your feelings, and inner resources.
  • Trusting in your inner wisdom and intuition, even if you don’t always get it right.
  • If something doesn’t feel right, honor your feelings.

As defined by Jon Kabbat –Zinn.

When I think about how Trust shows up in my life, I am reminded of so many different aspects of Trust and what they mean to me.

There’s trusting my gut level feelings about people, activities, environments, movies, restaurants…………there have been countless times that I either followed by gut-level feelings about one of these things and was able to confirm why I felt that way later – OR I didn’t trust or follow my gut level feelings and was sorry I didn’t.

I used to do psychic readings with tarot cards. In order for a reading to produce effective information or insight, I had to trust my gut level feelings and intuitions about the client, and their questions and concerns.

There is the kind of trust that shows up when you meet someone for the first time. You can get a feel for someone even though you may not know them well by trusting your intuition.

There is the general kind of trust of trusting life itself. That everything will work out – even if at the time it doesn’t seem like things are going your way, you still trust that you will be okay.

It’s like trusting that even if things do not turn out as intended, expected or desired, we trust the process. Perhaps we learned valuable lessons or skills even if we did not get what we thought we wanted

There is underlying trust that our bodies have the wisdom to do their job. Without our even being aware of the hundreds of processes that occur daily within our own body’s that keep us alive.

Have you ever noticed that people who seem to trust the process of life and have a basic trust in the goodness of people are generally happier than those who are distrustful of other people and themselves?

There is a fine line between blindly trusting and naiveté. So I guess we have to trust our own inner wisdom to discern the difference.

How do you experience trust in your life?

BEGINNER’S MIND: 9 Attitudinal Foundations of Mindfulness

I have been writing about the 9 Attitudinal Foundations of Mindfulness and how we can apply these principles to our lives. They can also be applied to your formal meditation practice.

Why practice Mindfulness Meditation? In my first article in this series, I mentioned all of the benefits of practicing mindfulness meditation. And overall, the value I find in practicing a formal meditation regularly is that it strengthens my ability to be more present in all aspects of my life. This allows me to experience more fulfillment, ease, greater health and more resiliency towards stress and life challenges; including a stronger capacity for compassion, generosity, patience and kindness towards myself and others.

While you are exploring the 9 Attitudes also notice what sensations you might notice in your body. For instance, when I notice I am judging someone or something I notice that my belly and chest is tight, my breathing is shallow, my jaw is tight, and my shoulders start to rise upwards. I will experience similar sensations when I am Impatient or when I am acting as if I am the “expert” or think I already “know” everything there is to know about something or someone.

Then notice what happens in your body when you can soften your stance and open to exploring being Patient………………….Not Knowing…………………..Beginners Mind………………….and when you simply notice you are Judging, without judging yourself for judging, does something in you soften a bit?

BEGINNERS MIND

  • Too often we let our thinking and our beliefs about what we ‘know’ stop us from seeing things as they really are.
  • Cultivating a mind that is willing to see everything as if for the first time.
  • Being receptive to new possibilities…………not getting stuck in being the expert.
  • Each moment is unique and contains novelty and new possibilities.

By: Jon Kabbat-Zinn – taken from “Full Catastrophe Living.”

 

Out of all of the 9 attitudes, Beginners Mind is the most powerful one for me. When I can truly step into experiences, bringing with me an attitude of Beginners Mind, then my whole world opens up into magical surprises!

I try to be alert to the danger of “knowing” when doing something repetitive that I have done before and think I know “who they are, how they will behave, how it is or what will happen.”  This could be meeting up with an old friend or colleague, going shopping or to my yoga class or the gym, cleaning the house or feeding the cat.

Anything you do or people you spend time with regularly will give you an opportunity to see if you are arriving on auto pilot – going through the motions because you think you already know them or the activity so well that you fall asleep to the unknown possibility of something new arising.

I have been pleasantly surprised almost on a daily basis when playing with Beginners Mind. This practice reveals how we can sometimes live in such a tight, constricted and narrow box like existence. When Icatch myself “knowing” what is going to happen – there is a felt sense of energy constriction in my body, I am not breathing fully, and there is a sense of being closed. But when I show up “not knowing” then everything unfolds as if for the first time with fresh aliveness. And I find myself delighted by things I missed or overlooked when experiencing life through the lens of “knowing.”

This thinking we already “know” something or someone also pertains to being the “expert.” I have missed a lot of my life by showing up as the “expert” and not allowing a different point of view or possibility into my awareness. I have found the “expert” in me closes off and blocks anyone that wants to engage in a different way of seeing or doing things. The “expert” is really good at living in their world and “knowing” how life or someone else is. I have experienced this in my life as being like a protective armor where if I show up “not knowing” that might make me seem weak or vulnerable.

And then “seeing everything as if for the first time” brings me a feeling of expansion full of delight, wonder and awe. I practice this first thing in the morning when I walk downstairs to make my coffee in the morning. I begin to notice the awesome painting of 3 horses galloping through the water on the wall in my living room, my beautiful teal colored sofa with the maroon throw, the plant on the table along with Steve’s Djembe and Dumbek. I walk into the kitchen and see the 2 framed photos of Spirit the celebrity horse at Return to Freedom, and the cobalt blue, gold and maroon Middle Eastern fabric wall hanging along with the framed photos of the baby tigers…………….the light coming in through the sliding glass door and the plants in front of the fireplace. All of this beauty is seen every morning as if for the first time! How often do you walk through your home seeing everything?

I play a game with myself, which is that every time I transition from one activity to another, it is like a meditation bell going off reminding me to become present and connected to what I am doing. Getting up from the dinner table to walk into the living room – “wake up pay attention” – feel my feet on the floor, notice my breathing, what am I aware of seeing or hearing in my environment? And I try to remember to do this throughout the day; brushing my teeth, feeling the sensation of the toothbrush as it moves over my gums, the taste of my homemade toothpaste, the sound it makes………………………. 

I highly recommend this little game to expand your experience of what it feels like to be present in the moment and connected to whatever you are doing. Noticing sensations in your body, sounds, tastes, smells and what you can see.

Play with Beginners Mind this week and let me know what you experience.

PATIENCE: 9 Attitudinal Foundations of Mindfulness

Understanding that sometimes things need to unfold in their own time and the process cannot be hurried.

A child may try to help a butterfly emerge by breaking open a chrysalis but chances are the butterfly won’t benefit from this help.

Practicing patience with ourselves. “Why rush through some moments to get to other ‘better’ ones? Each one is your life at that moment.”

Being completely open to each moment, accepting its fullness, knowing that like the butterfly, things will emerge in their own time.

From Jon Kabbat-Zin’s “The Full Catastrophe.”

How can we awaken to Patience in our daily lives?

  

Example:

Allowing more Patience into my life can be a daily challenge as I am known to be impatient with so many things, both big and small.

There is rushing to get to a better moment. When I am cooking for the week on Sunday’s or cleaning the house. First, there is judging or labeling it as “unpleasant” or “I would rather be doing something else” which then cascades into impatience and wanting to be done so I can move on. However, when I catch myself and take a moment and breathe and come back to the moment, I find that both of these experiences become enjoyable as I see the different colors of the food, and textures and different aroma’s along with the meditative quality of repetitive chopping of vegetables. And the joy of seeing dirt and lint getting sucked up into the vacuum and my floors becoming clean. When I return to the moment, I am amazed at how much I missed by getting sucked into my story of wanting it to be over and somewhere else! And what is always amusing to me is that there is nowhere else to get to more quickly.

Another type of impatience is wanting things to go faster.  When my husband and I are out doing things together, after the car is parked, I am out and already walking towards our destination while my husband is checking things out in the car; making sure everything is in its place, double-checking things, making sure the lights are out, straightening up the carryall in the back or the glove compartment, finding trash to throw out………………actually I am not really sure what all he is doing because I am usually miles ahead of him!!!!

Sometimes, if I am mindful enough, I will notice my tendency to rush ahead of him. And I laugh at why I am in such a hurry to get to my destination without him!!!  Am I worried that there would not be any more kale left in the vegetable department? Or that there will not be a table for us in the restaurant? In those moments, I do wait patiently while he finishes whatever it is he is doing and am aware of what is really important. Which is not getting to wherever we are going quickly and without him, but to be connected to him and be with him even if it means going slower than I normally would.

So what is this needing to go fast all about? The inquiry takes me to an unconscious need to rush and go fast to stay one step ahead of danger and the tiger that is chasing me!!! And what does the tiger represent? The tiger represents any kind of stress or challenge in my life that I do not want to face or look at. It’s like if I keep moving fast enough “IT” cannot catch me. So you can see that doing a mindful inquiry into why we react in certain ways can produce amazing insights.

And what about things needing to unfold in their own time and not trying to force a process? I have seen that show up in creative endeavors of mine like writing blogs, designing my website, or working on designing a class or workshop. Sometimes I get so impatient that I have produced things prematurely. But when I allow myself to go with the flow and not rush things, then I find out that there was a reason for the delay. A better way to communicate a thought or process is revealed, or I find the perfect graphic, or I realize that it is not the right time to start a class at a particular location because a few weeks later I find a much better environment for my class.

 

And of course, we have all been impatient and angry being stuck in traffic. As if getting upset about it makes the traffic move faster!!! I am so much better about this one now – because I get it – there really is nowhere to go! So much kinder to enjoy the ride, albeit slower than I would prefer. And of course, if you are going to be late, you make that phone call so you can relax.

What ways are you noticing the value and benefit of allowing more Patience into your life?

NON-JUDGING: 9 Attitudinal Foundations of Mindfulness

One definition of mindfulness is: paying attention with focused awareness, non-judgmentally, to what one is experiencing, moment to moment.

It is the ability to be with what is without labeling, judging, indulging in it, pushing it away, or wanting it to be different.

Learning how to be more mindful in our lives helps us to become aware of what we are doing and why. This includes actions, behaviors, and choices that do not support our goals. Mindfulness practice will help you become more aware of unconscious habits and behaviors as well as automatic reactions, checking out and disassociating when uncomfortable feelings arise. Being mindful can help you make more conscious choices that move you toward your goals.

I teach my clients Mindfulness Practices and Meditation and as a support and foundation for overcoming challenges that arise and to support optimal health and wellbeing.

Here is a partial list of the many benefits of practicing mindfulness:

Improves focus, concentration and memory; lessens anxiety and depression; lowers blood pressure; helps with pain management; increases creativity, joy and passion; deepens and strengthens relationships with family, friends and work associates; decreases reactivity and being on auto pilot; increases moments of being present and seeing life as it is; creates a healthier relationship with food by eating mindfully; enhances your experiencing of living by being present for all of the moments big and small that are your life!


Jon Kabat-Zinn – who I refer to as the person who brought Mindfulness to mainstream America by using a universal language that everyone can understand and apply to their life. One of his many contributions to the practice of mindfulness is his definitions of the 9 Attitudinal Foundations of Mindfulness.

I will be talking about each of these 9 attitudes weekly and am inviting you to apply each one every week throughout your day and notice what happens; particularly when you are challenged or triggered. These 9 attitudes can be applied to formal and informal mindfulness practice. Formal meaning when you are practicing a mindfulness meditation and informal means how you practice mindfulness in your life.

Please post your comments on my blog so we can have a community discussion about these 9 attitudes and how we can apply them to enhance the quality of our lives.

Here are the 9 Attitudes of Mindfulness practice:

Non-Judging | Patience | Beginners Mind | Trust | Non-Striving | Acceptance | Letting Go | Generosity | Gratitude

The definitions are taken from Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book “Full Catastrophe Living.”

NON – JUDGING

  • Noticing the urge to categorize or label thoughts that arise in your mind.
  • Taking the stance of an impartial witness to your own experience.
  • Noticing the stream of judging mind…..good/bad/neutral……not trying to stop it but just being aware of it.
  • Noticing how the need to define life as ‘good’ (liking) or ‘bad’ (not liking) takes us away from the real experience.
  • Don’t beat yourself up for judging; just realize you are doing it.

How might we apply this our lives?

Example:

I was recently participating in an introductory meeting in which there was a time limit of 2 hours. It was to start with a ceremony with 9 of us lighting a candle and introducing ourselves.

There was an issue with a person who is allergic to Sulphur, so the first candle had to be lit in a different room. There was a challenge with the candle not staying lit, and there was some back and forth about how to make this work. I found myself getting irritated at what I perceived as a non-essential aspect of our meeting (note: Judgment) and the clock was ticking away while discussion went around about how to light these candles without the Sulphur irritating the woman with the allergy.

I made a comment about all of us having an inner flame and let’s move on without the candle ceremony. However, I noticed right away that I was judging this situation and decided to check in with my body and notice what was happening. My mouth was tight like I had just bit into a lemon, my stomach was contracted, and my breathing was constricted, while at the same time I was breathing faster than normal. I became aware of how I was armored and closed off to the group as a whole while engaging in my story of judgment.

I stayed with these sensations a while, and my body began to relax. As my body began to relax, I realized I had another choice which was just to be with what was happening even though it was uncomfortable to me while also being aware that I had an opinion and story about what I thought should be happening.

As I became aware of my body sensations while judging this situation and noticing that I was closed off to the individuals in the group, an interesting thing happened, which is that by noticing and paying attention to what was happening; body sensations and judgmental thoughts, and not trying to push it away – I was able to come back to the present moment and was once again connected and engaged with the group again.

That was all I needed to do to come back to the present moment. I never judged myself for judging either, but I did become aware that I was judging.

How about you? What stories of judgment have you noticed in your life and how did you choose to work with them?