By: Jon Kabbat-Zin

• Letting go is a way of letting things be, of accepting things as they are.
• We let things go and we just watch……………
• If we find it particularly difficult to let go of something because it has such a strong hold on our mind, we can direct our attention to what ‘holding’ feels like. Holding on is the opposite of letting go. Being willing to look at the ways we hold on shows a lot about its opposite.

Sometimes it seems like a few of these foundational attitudes are similar in nature – and yet still subtly different. We can let go of something and still be challenged to accept it the way it is. Non-striving is similar to accepting – however, there still might be an action that is being taken with non-striving, but the attitude would be one of relaxing into the action and no expectations of what the outcome might be.

So what is the subtle difference between letting go and acceptance? Sometimes I can let go of the need to be right. And at the same time not necessarily accept “that person’s” pontification! Notice that there is also judgment there with labeling “that person’s” communication as “pontification”! Just making a point here that the mindfulness journey of discovery is one that invites us to engage with playful curiosity and gentle inquiry into our thoughts, feelings, and emotions, without judging ourselves.

So back to letting go. I can remember holding onto this thought that “He/She should have acknowledged and thanked me for all the time I gave/volunteered to help their business endeavors. This was a tough one that I had a very hard time letting go of. Thoughts of anger would traipse through my brain at regular intervals. I was really gnawing on this bone! Finally, I sat with the feeling of “being unacknowledged”. WOW! That triggered some very old childhood stuff that I was able to really see and feel and integrate and……….yes……..finally………let go! However, I would not have been able to let go until I took the time to sit with the painful feelings that were evoked in me. And along with the integration was a great insight that I was looking for acknowledgment in all the wrong places! Outside of myself, instead of inside myself. (Sound familiar? Looking for love in all the wrong places!!!)

I also have learned to let go of my business marketing offers. Meaning, I put it out there through my various marketing avenues – and do a follow up if necessary – and then I let it go.

My husband and I recently tried twice to book our trip to the Big Island. I have already paid for the accommodations. But the first dates we chose I realized would not work as I intuited we would have to move out for termite tenting. And yes, that turned out to be true. Then we rescheduled the dates and picked new ones. I found out a month later that the Iron Man Triathlon was going on the date we chose to leave back to CA so we redid our departure date to the following date and my friend on the Big Island said that is the WORST day to leave the Big Island is the day after the Iron Man – as everyone from every country is at the airport leaving! So we said okay, let’s forget this time period entirely. We have now picked hopefully our third and final dates in May! Just saying, sometimes you have to let go and go with the flow and make other arrangements instead of “striving” to make something happen.

Please tell me about your journey and discovery of letting go.